And then the lights went out

It all started the day AF arrived from my failed IUI cycle three weeks ago. It seemed seemingly innocuous at first, even comical. What was at first determined to be a slight inconvenience has since turned into an omen of sorts. Intent undetermined.

It began with the kitchen light. Approximately 3 weeks ago, the light bulb burned out. It wasn’t any huge deal but I did find it a tad bit strange since the bulb is one of those new fancy-schmancy compact fluorescent bulbs that is supposed to last years on end. The light fixture itself is relatively new. We renovated our kitchen last October and the new light was a product of the renovation. So it’s lifespan was exactly 12 months. Not wonderful, but nothing to cause pause just yet.

After a weekend run to Low.es and $19.98 later, the bulbs were replaced in the kitchen fixture.

Then, in a seemingly coincidence of occurrences, the interior dome light went out in my Honda a few days later. Annoying yes, but not earth shattering. Again, the car isn’t brand-new off the lot, so it could be plausible that it was time for a new bulb.

The light needed to be repaired immediately as I use my car everyday for work. There are times that I’m in parking garages and it’s dark and I need to be able to collect my supplies before I head in to see a client. So the bulb was swiftly replaced.

Then, 4 days after the interior light was replaced, my drivers side headlight went out. Again, as this light was found to be a necessity, it was immediately replaced last weekend.

You would think 3 lights in a row would spell just bad luck or timing and then, my rear driver-side tail light went out on Wednesday. I noticed it while walking out from a dinner meeting with a business partner. I went to hit the “unlock” button on my Honda keyfob and the light didn’t flash and blink like it should.

So the tail light was fixed immediately.

And then it happened again. While washing dishes on Sunday night, a 4 month old halogen light above the sink flickered and went out.

I immediately yelled the news of the D.O.A. bulb to my husband along with the following statement:

“Hun, another bulb went out. This time it’s the one over the kitchen sink.”

My darling husband then asked, “Damn, another? That’s like the 3rd one this month!”

Even before the words left my mouth I was spooked ” No, it’s the 5th bulb in three weeks!” I replied.

Do you believe in omens? I want to believe that the lights going out all around me mean good things to come in my life. But for some reason, I can’t shake this feeling that this isn’t a good sign.

Why are all the lights in my life being extinguished? Does this mean new beginnings?

I’m looking for a sign.

Any sign that will point me to believe that I should have hope or dread for IVF#1.